27 April: Walking to Ghara, Nepal

27 April: Walking to Ghara

The Principal organised for Om, one of the teachers, to carry my gear in a basket.  Kumari indicated she would change her sari to walking clothes.  The Principal sent me off and Bina was waving.    I did take in the leaving of Paudwar realising I won’t be back.  I felt the depth of meaning with Bin a and I hope she comes to Australia. 

Om and myself  walked down the mountain and I enjoyed the quiet. I have two parts to myself I can be outgoing but there is a side that loves silence. So I enjoyed the moment to savour the beautiful scenery around me. I value the experience I was having. In silence we walked and I noted that the teacher received some telephone calls. He answered ‘miss’ and I suspect Kumari was ringing. She probably wondered where we were as she only went to get changed and we had gone. The language barrier prevented me from being able to communicate that so I just went with the flow and allowed life to unfold without my input. We walked further down and I noticed he rested and got some water from a stream. I also had a drink, it didn’t seem that clean but it was fine. We waited there and we tried to communicate, he mentioned Kumari. It is amazing how much you can realise without a shared language, the beauty of being human. Anyway we walked on and he then stopped a little further down. Kumari then caught up with us and she and I chatted as we walked down the mountain. I did want alone time but at the same time, go with the flow and enjoy Kumari. So I adapted to her presence and we chatted about education and women’s rights.

Kumari is an English teacher. We spoke about gender issues and the fact that women are seen as less than men. I told her about women in Australia. I am not married and have no children (that I know of ha ha). I spoke to her of my own independence and freedom. I really love that I can speak of this. Also in Australia we have a welfare system where you can at the very least get access to funds and live independently. I think it would be very hard to have to depend on family as many families do not get on well and have not learned harmony. Values can be largely governed by television and increasingly fathers are absent or mothers are raising children alone. It is a changing social situation which renders many women struggling in poverty and constantly working, as they have no help. On the other hand women are slowly moving up the corporate ranks and there are more and more role models of successful women, this is necessary for girls to see the potential, to know that they can indeed breach the glass ceiling. Like any person, people can be anything, much depends on what they believe. I reassured her that life is changing and that women’s issues are increasingly taken seriously. The United Nations have many programs and they realise that women are often the main breadwinners in families and they are the ones that work. So much focus is on the empowerment of women to ensure stability of societies. I told her women are taking their power back or stepping out of the illusion of ‘less’. Really it is up to women to claim their power and freedom, to find independence. Pat springs to mind and I recalled Peter said he gave up and let her go her own way. In truth it is for all of us to give up control and allow people their own sovereignty, to go their own way. That is the visibility of the human spirit, to have the courage to be authentic and live your life honestly and be yourself. I have seen my own self suppressing for the sake of peace but at the same time I’ve seen my own projections and I assume I am wrong, which I often am. So conflict is to be observed from within, the world is indeed a reflection of ourselves. If we don’t like what we see then look at self. That is where all conflict lives, slowly I am getting this.  As Gordon said ‘it is a mirror’.

So women in Nepal will grow and change. Education will expand minds and it will help people to become aware of the world and deal with exploitation. Globalisation is rapid and as I sit here writing at the Regina Guest house, I smile at the diversity passing me. There are donkey trains, clusters of goats, there are dogs meandering past. I see bulls and cows going past. A truck drives in with chickens. Little children come and sit opposite me on the benches and smile. I am a curiosity to them and they remember my little walk to their part of the village. They want some balloons, they are so keen, and when the others come back we will leave some balloons behind. I watch the Europeans, Asians, Americans and various other nationalities walk past. I’ve just seen my first motor bike. Mostly it is trucks and four-wheel drives coming past. It is fascinating to see the women walking past from working on the building down the road. I can hear them laughing as they start their day labouring. I see young teenagers come and some sit for a while. There are some old guys probably in their 80′s sitting in front. I watch them just sit and observe life. It is a slow pace here so you just watch life come by. I laugh though at the variety, where in the world would you have a traditional society existing in the mountains in Western Nepal witness the modern world walking past with their ski poles and expensive gear and porters. It is such a contrast that I just smile. It is isolated up here in as far as the track in is very rocky and only accessible by four wheel drive, roads are really tracks so it interests me no end.

Kumari and I walked and talked more. She spoke of teaching Grade 4 and her colleagues both men and women at work, I think there are slightly more men. She surprised me by telling me she wants to be a clown. So it looks like I have someone to clown with here. I am keen to go to visit the untouchable children and I want to give out some balloons. I was not going to hand out anything, but really this is a one off.

I told her of curriculum in Australia, not that I am an expert but I have a little knowledge. There are more tests with Naplan the national test for literacy and numeracy. I didn’t explain to her how schools were changing, that there is increased stress, testing and reporting and increased busyness for children. There are many activities and they speak of crowded curriculum. So kids, like their parents have a busy life. The examining makes me think of the league tables and more children are being compared rather than seen as unique. They have to fit into the curriculum model. That is why teaching styles like Montessori and Steiner emerged to provide education for the whole child and to help develop their talents. I personally prefer alternative methods as I feel we are creative beings and our values, confidence, life skills and talents need to be nurtured not in a competitive framework but tailored for the children.

The school that she is working in has around 200 children in a village of 2,000, I suspect it is around 1,000 but I could be wrong. Ghara is around 3,000 encompassing caste differences. They live cooperatively but there are invisible boundaries. We did witness a man throwing stones at children; which in Australia would be stopped.  Here it appears to be caste related. The children were innocent and curious and were interested in the balloons, so the act was unkind by an adult in truth. The children ran away. Such is the nature of unquestioned thinking that believes in tradition without any other thought, I can understand this. Hence education is important here to open the mind to other ways of seeing the world.

We spoke about sending Nepalese teachers to Australia and visa versa on a Rotary exchange. I believe Nepalese can teach us letting go, self-sufficiency, practicality, community and stillness. Many sit and watch (elders) or work really hard. They make everything themselves, albeit modern products are slowly coming in. They are evident in the little shops.

The teacher and I talked of technology. We sat looking at the fields and mountains. She told me they harvest millet, corn, wheat etc. and explained the people rise at 5am-6am and finish around 6.30pm. It is a long day and they harvest by pulling the wheat beating it, getting the grain, crushing it and making bread. It is hard work. She showed me the bulls and made the point of cows providing milk. The bulls had simple harnesses and a hoe attached to till the fields. They leave them fallow. We spoke of soil quality and she said they use manure to enrich the soil. Two boys were walking with bamboo baskets filled with manure. They get the bamboo from huge stands of bamboo. They spread the manure around the fields as fertiliser. They don’t use Roundup (processed fertilizer) I note, thank goodness. The modern world is still outside and the large multinationals don’t cast an eye this way. I reflect on the terminator seeds introduced in India (and other third world countries) whereby the large multinational companies (Monsanto) sell the poor farmers these seeds.  The seeds are redundant after one harvest, they can’t use them again (built in obsolescence. They have to keep buying the seeds. This is what greed looks like. The manure is a fine way of replacing nutrients and it costs nothing.

The monsoon is in late May to August. The monsoonal rains wash the manure away and so the fields lose much nutrient. I compared that to topsoil loss in Australia through over cultivation and winds blowing it literally away. I saw them as experts in sustainability yet I saw how hard life is here. I encouraged her to ask for the technology they need over the internet. A company would do it as world service. I explained you can have it for free. I told Bina earlier in the day that she could make things happen. I am regarded as poor in Australia but I am here, others paid (Google crowd funding). I believe life is free. Why not! We were born free in truth, it is humans who have put a price on all things and called it trade. Yet when we share there is no need to worry. I don’t believe you have to earn life, I believe it is our birth right to live freely. Not using others but sharing the magic of experience, I’ve always gone for this over money. I saw money as a narrow goal, when life is so rich with opportunity; I call this the true abundance or real wealth of life.

We both puffed and met up with the teacher (Om) carrying my stuff. Slowly we walked up the stairs. The storm was brewing and I hoped I would see an electrical storm again. It has been wild the last few days and no power. All computers, cameras are flat so I am handwriting this (typing now). As it turned out the storm petered out. I saw the old guy Pat had interviewed. I got her questions answered as he was leaving. He wanted me to stop for a biscuit but I was exhausted and needed a wash. I said no, ordinary would have said yes but I needed to rest.  Not meant to be.

I headed to Regina Guesthouse and felt home and good cooking. I found the porridge, the potatoes, lentils not filling enough up at Paudwar, particularly as I am sick. I felt I can rest here and do what I love – teaching.

I haven’t wanted to do conventional teaching as I have to be free to be creative. I know there are teachers who feel the same as they have seen greater control exercised by the Department of Education in teaching and less time for creative freedom of expression, which was their joy of teaching. Moreover, many are having to deal with behavioural problems as children are not being parented properly and are exposed to negative influences through the media. There are so many challenges these days. Women are natural teachers and have keen emotional intelligence – however, there are exceptions.  Moreover, there are men who are wonderful teachers, I have a few friends who are excellent.  It is a gift to be a teacher, to know how to communicate concepts easily. I guess it is important for the next generation that they get the best teachers, who not only teach curriculum but teach important life skills and values. To know hat it is to be a good human being and universal citizen, in my view is essential to the future. To thine own self be true is the most articulate expression of this type of teaching.

I decided to stay in Pat’s room which has shutters and space which feels more open. The door is sticky I noted, you have to lift it up to stop it sticking. I gathered my things from storage and felt myself breathe easy. I went downstairs and received some food – yummy an omelette and lemon tea. I was so hungry shaking with hunger and have not been drinking enough water.

Kumari came up to my room with a candle (no power on). I showed her the clown suit and feel excited. I showed her a $50 Australian note it is plastic. She examined it by the light. She was curious about my training program. So I showed her the chart I had written up on butcher’s paper with a marker. It said ‘Culture of Peace’ and some information about UNESCO. I then pointed out the segments to my peace education program which I call REAL HOPES.  It is an acronym for responsibility, empathy, awareness, love, honesty, oneness, peace and enjoyment.  The S on the end is service, if I can get 9 weeks in a school I can teach this important value.

We went down to the kitchen and ended up sitting with other teachers. They gave me medicine which is code for roxy – home brew. It was very nice like vodka. They call it wine. Krishna explained the distillation process from millet and yeast. They make it in a 3 level copper, this is out the back of the kitchen.

We sat in front of the moulded stove burning bright from the fire wood and keeping the little wooden room warm. Our hostess they call biny (sister), they don’t use first names. They say either brother, sister, aunty or uncle. Not unlike the indigenous feeling community as family. I really like that. I am feeling that more and more. Biny is an amazing women, incredibly kind and works very hard. She is up early and she is cooking a lot. She has 3 children, 2 are boarding away, which is hard for her. Nanoo (phonetic spelling) her daughter is the spitting image of her, even in her voice. She left a few days ago to go to school. Her dad took her. It was something like a 12 hour trip, long way for a 12 year old. She helped her mother a lot and her mum not only missed her but lost help she so needs, she indicated to me a headache. They are determined not to let her have the life they have, they want their children to do better, such is the love of parents, but at the same time the the pain of separation. Her mother cleans the clothes by hand and they make the bread by shaking the wheat, bashing it and turning it into refined grain. All is done by hand. They have a little squat toilet out the back which is basic with a light bulb for light, when power is on. Next to it is another concrete room with a tap hanging from the ceiling and this is the shower or bath as they call it. She will heat water for me and let me have a warm wash. It is very primitive but for me a wash is a wash and I love it. It is not for the feint hearted out here, you have to cope with primitive circumstances. For me with a period and cold it feels like walking through thick mud, not easy to find the bounce in my energy, although I try.

We sat drinking home brew in the kitchen and had a traditional Nepalese food of dhal bhat. I ate with my right hand and they said it was fine. Peter had indicated not to eat with right hand as this is the toilet hand, it made sense. Yet they said it is fine. I am comfortable eating with the right even though I am left handed. Krishna said right is fine. We sat together for dinner which I prefer, they tended to let us eat first (four westerners) and then they ate later. With me here alone I am joining in with them. I prefer that. I am communal.

I spoke to Krishna of my years alone and passion for peace. He suffers the absence of his wife in Israel for 6 years, a long time. Kumari said she is her friend and that his wife is wanting to make money. I think when you get a taste for it, it is hard to live on less. Searching for additional income is a problem as families are split up. Parents do need to support each other to be there for the children. It is not so easy. Krishna is living as a single mother/father, he is having to be both mother and father to the children. A situation many other men would not understand. He did indicate to me that in those situations where the wife goes to work often the children are neglected by the fathers, they are in denial of the responsibility to look after them properly and they do nothing. I found that interesting and it reveals to me the idea that mothering (parenting) is a skill that is learned over hundreds of thousands of years. It is not easy for men to pick up where women left off; there are also innate skills of nurturing, noticing a child is hungry or cold or being able to read their emotional wellbeing. So I sense that men do struggle with this role and children suffer as a result. Perhaps the next generation of men will be better but you wonder if the children don’t know what it is to be nurtured can they nurture their children? An interesting question! Krishna is really an exceptional man raising kids and establishing quality education with Peter and Kailash here in Nepal. It is a great project they are embarking on and I think many thousands of children will benefit. He has also built a building in Paudwar which will house a childcare centre and health centre. I saw photos of this facility and it looks impressive comparatively.  So that is good news for the people there. He is getting a good reputation, which I would say is well deserved. He is working hard for a better Nepal, he is actually a pioneer here in many ways. His life experience of raising the children will expand his emotional intelligence and awareness of children’s needs which feeds into his teaching and leadership. There is no mistake he and Peter connected. Apparently Peter found him and really changed his life. He got a scholarship for Krishna to come to Australia last year, this was the first time he and his children had seen the ocean.  Krishna’s story is a really wonderful story, Pat has recorded it and hopefully one day someone will write it. You never know where life will take you and who pops up as the angel that changes your life. The three – Kalaish, Krishna and Peter have worked incredibly hard and it is really inspiring to see such focus and dedication to children. Krishna is indeed a great leader.

I explained to him the philosophy of Byron Katie which is my own now (go to www.thework.com). How did you know you don’t need something/someone, they are not there? How do you know you do? They are there. It is simple logic but it is comforting, no point fighting reality. Just live in the moment and accept we can’t control life we can only flow with it and be grateful for what comes. I am learning this more and more and it does bring peace. Trust in what is, is the key. As Gordon says ‘the best is yet to come’ and he is right. I trust that.

Heaven – I had a wash with a torch and a bit of warm water, thanks to biny. Kailash invited me for cards but didn’t hear me call to him. I ended up meditating and slept all night. I so love being here.